- “Since you’re mature enough to drive / have a cell phone / make your own bed (whatever), I think you’re mature enough to talk with me about…”
- “I know we haven’t talked much about sex before, but it’s been on my mind lately. So, can I ask you something?” (or, “Can I tell you something?”)
- “Can I tell you a wish I made for you last night? I as thinking about what a great kids you are and how much I love you, and I wished that you…”
- “Have you heard that new song (insert title here)? Are the kids at school listening to that? I thought it was pretty gross, the way it talked about women. Do you hear that when you listen to it?”
- “Did I ever tell you about the first boyfriend I had, when I was 16? He was so cute that I actually blushed whenever he looked at me…”
- Your kids are talking about sex all the time. It’s just a matter or whether or not you join the conversation.
1. Draw 4 concentric circles
2. The bull’s eye represents what your adolescent doesn’t want anyone to know ever. The most private.
3. The next outer circle is for people they trust the most.
4. One more step out is for acquaintances
5. The last circle is for strangers
6. Label each circle with who fits in that grouping and what information you are willing to share with them
Once you’ve filled in your circles, ask how you will keep the info in it’s own circle. The simple answer is you can’t. You can only try to. That’s why it’s very important to choose wisely who’s in which circle to minimize the risk of information leaking outside what you’re ok with.